Theresa: 0:00

I said, enemy, you sit down here. You're not robbing me of my peace. You're not robbing me of my trust because I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and I will continue to trust in him. Today I just need to vent Trish. I don't need you to fix me, but I just need to vent and I just need to tell you how I feel. Seeds for your marriage.

Trisha: 0:24

Hello there, welcome to Seeds for Your Marriage, and I'm Trisha Walker. I have here with me Theresa Pang, my dear friend. She is a woman who has written this book that we'll be talking about, but she's also a faith driven entrepreneur and corporate leader. And she is really passionate about seeing people walk in their purpose, and pursue the kingdom of God as a lifestyle. And she does this so well. One, story that I have is I initially met her when we were at a ministry school here in the Bay Area. And she was the director of the school and we'd always have all so much going on. So many students and there were different speakers that were coming in and there was always so much going on. And she was able to just naturally maneuver around no matter what was coming her way. She's floated the room and it was like able to manage whatever was happening. And it always ended so peacefully and nicely and it was great. So I learned so much from her and yeah, so I thought this would be a great conversation and she just has an amazing testimony. So welcome Theresa.

Theresa: 1:34

Thank you, Trisha. It's such an honor and a pleasure to be here. Really appreciate it. I'm so excited.

Trisha: 1:41

Yeah. So you have, like I said, you wrote this book, Seven Steps from Problems to Peace. And it's just a simple guide that you say on how to partner with God in your decision making process. But first, before we actually get into the book, I'd love for you to share a little bit about just your background and just maybe a few things of some of the things that you went through and how you learned this process that you've gone through these seven steps that you talked about. How have what have you gone through to learn? To have peace and maintain that peace and operate in peace in every day and every decision.

Theresa: 2:21

That's a great question, Trisha. And I think I learned it throughout the years and I think I'm still learning it right now, I think we just continue to learn as we grow. And it brings me back to my testimony with Christ. I'm originally born and raised in Hawaii. And I love the islands. Back in high school, I lost my father in our house fire. And during that time, it was just really overwhelming, really chaotic, and I had visions of fire back then, even before it happened. What happened so naturally, I became really depressed. Just filled with anxiety, was really saddened by the event, because not only did we lose our father, lose my dad, we lost all our belongings, we lost our livelihood, and it was just so overwhelming. I didn't know how to deal with it. And before it happened, I had visions of fire, and twice. And so that actually led me to blame myself for the fire, and I didn't know how to process it all. And there's so much going on in my head, and I just didn't know how to process. What ultimately happened was I became suicidal. I became just Hallucinogenic, they actually diagnosed me as schizophrenic and admitted me into the mental ward But guess what guys Jesus has the last say six months after I came out of that mental ward Jesus came to me in a dream. He literally delivered me out of depression for that six months after I came out of the mental ward My mom who was a single mom at that time had to bathe me When he came to him and what came to me in my dreams, I woke up and I was completely set free and so that was when the peace of God flooded me And I knew that Jesus was so real, so alive, and that if he gave me that peace and that he gave me that healing in my mind and my body and my spirit, that I knew that if he would do it for me, he would do it for anyone else. And so that was the epitome of me learning about Jesus. What John 14 said, my peace I give to you my peace. I leave with you. And that is how the journey all started.

Trisha: 4:58

That's amazing. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for being so vulnerable and willing to share that. That's incredible. So since then, what, how old were you? You said you were a late teenager.

Theresa: 5:09

Yeah. My dad passed when I was 16, but I was tormented for three years. So when I was 19, that was when I was admitted to the mental ward. Okay.

Trisha: 5:20

Wow. Yeah. And then so fast forward a little bit. And so you I know at one point you did get married. How old were you when you got married?

Theresa: 5:31

Gosh, I got married when I was in my 20 some, but I don't remember exactly. That's a good point.

Trisha: 5:43

Yeah. And then you were also, you were married for how long?

Theresa: 5:48

I was we were together for quite a long time and we were together for, I want to say a little over 20 years. We met in college. We actually met in high school and then we met in college. We got together in college then soon after our relationship down the line for 20 years. I found out that he was having an affair, so I went through infidelity and the healing and infidelity. That was a test of peace, Trish, and you helped walk me through, you helped walk me through that time as well, too so we all know that

Trisha: 6:30

period. Yeah this is so real Yes, that's great that there's some couples who are married a lifetime, it isn't always that way. And we have there are so many Christians even today that end up, divorced or separated for one reason or another. And, How do we as Christians navigate that? And so this is why I wanted to get your story to really be able to share. It isn't just learning from people who maybe haven't married a long time, 40, 50 years, but also those who have maybe been through the journey of divorce or been through a different journey of losing a spouse, through death or something like that. So I just really wanted to get, your. Your story and just what people can learn from your story on how to navigate a situation, maybe a similar situation, or just a situation where maybe they're facing divorce or have been divorced.

Theresa: 7:26

That's so good, Trish. Divorce is a process and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's just like you said, losing a loved one changes, growing pains and and with infidelity, it really hit me hard. I think, during that time, I felt as if the pain of infidelity Was worse than losing my father. It just crushed me. I think when I found out it literally just crushed me. But what happened is, right now you can see me today. I'm smiling because I have the Lord with me. My divorce was. late in 2020. And I have been actually walking through that healing process. And so if anyone is going through this right now, I am, I will be an open book for you. I would say it was, yeah, it was a process. So it does take time. And to allow yourself To take that time, I think sometimes we rush ourselves and yeah, I think taking that time to really know where you're at, where's your peace. So when it first happened, I just thought, Oh my gosh, like the enemy's not robbing me of my peace. And I said, what is this about? And I just, I, at one point I was so infuriated with the enemy and I just sat down and I said, enemy, you sit down here. You're not robbing me of my peace. You're not robbing me of my trust because I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and I will continue to trust in him. And you're not robbing of my trust in people either. This one incident is not going to rob me of not trusting people or my God. And so right in the beginning, I just have to guard my. And lay that foundation and know that God is still with me. So it's a decision and a process.

Trisha: 9:28

Yeah. That's so good. And to see too, to see that. There was the enemy was at work and he was trying to come against you your marriage your mindset your identity. And so you had to stand up and say, no, like I, I am a daughter of God and you're not gonna, you're not gonna come at me. You're not going to come against me. I love that.

Theresa: 9:53

Yeah, that is so true, Trish. And but during that time, it can be very chaotic because your emotions are So there are a few things that were very important. One was. One was worship. I had I had just 24 hour worship playing all the time because I had to set my foot down and say, you know what? The enemy is not going to take this away. My God is my God. He is still, he is still the same God I know. And I am going to walk through that, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So I had to set my foot down. That's one worship is your weapon. And then two is setting boundaries. I really had to limit the people who I shared with. And because during that time, I didn't know whether if I was going to leave or say, or if we were going to even do healing, or if we were going to, I, it was just very chaotic because. It was just your emotions are flying. You're angry. You're sad. You're crying. You're all the emotions. It's just a roller coaster. With anyone who has dealt with infidelity, or even lost, or even, whatever it may be, emotions are roller coastering. Just everywhere. And then three is know yourself. Know when know who your go to people are. Know what is it that you need? Today I just need to vent Trish. Like Trish, I don't need you to fix me, but I just need to vent and I just need to tell you how I feel. I just need You know, just share with you or Trish, I need prayer right now, and I always tell my, if you need prayer, just go ahead and send me the prayer emoji, and you don't even have to tell me anything. I'll just lift you up in prayer right there. And so that's, that was helpful. And then no, Know also that I knew that I needed legal counseling and so counseling was I think I would I think I went through Three counselings at that first found out about the infidelity. I'm like, okay, I need help or do I need drugs or do I? It's like God. I need you right now and then also it tests is you because I didn't know how much I don't so knowing when to step back, knowing when to like, how to control it or Lord out of cut out of control right now I just need to go into my, my, my cake or my room and. Or go on a walk or run. You just have to know yourself. There are lots of things going on at that moment, and so the process is really writing things down, knowing who you are, knowing where God is, where is your peace at, what is your peace meter on a scale of one to ten, what is your peace, what is your peace meter telling you? There's so many things, Trish.

Trisha: 13:01

I don't know where to go. That's so good. I love that. And I love what you said was worship. Like you had worship playing nonstop. And in your book, step three of your seven steps is praise. And I actually highlighted something that you said here. And I really think it pertains to what you're talking about. It says, God wants a relationship with you. And a relationship is like a garden, which needs to be watered, tilled and groomed like any of your relationships here on earth. Essentially when you're going through that process, the relationship with your husband was being severed, and, but the relationship with the Lord is constant. It's always, it never fails, it never goes away, it's always here, and so being able to, needing that time to invest even more time into that relationship with him. Through worship, through praying, through just, spending quiet time with him. Like you said, I know you like to hike. I know you love hiking and I'm sure you really get filled, when you do your hiking. So I just love that.

Theresa: 14:09

Yeah. Actually, my relationship with the Lord got even closer as I, I walked through the shadows of the valley of death. If I wouldn't be here, actually, if it wasn't for the Lord, if I didn't know the Lord. I wouldn't be here today and know that my joy really, when they say like the joy of the Lord is your strength, it is so real, Trish. Yeah. Oh gosh, just the miracles that he's done and just who he is. It's just, So beautiful.

Trisha: 14:39

Yeah that's awesome. I love that. You and I both know that we talked about this, that there was infidelity in my marriage and Thomas and I will openly talked about that from time to time. And there was some, pornography and a lot of different things that was just unhealthy. I guess things that were interwoven into our relationship that really came to a head probably in 2009. And for me and in my process. There was this moment of, are we going to stay together or are we not? And the Lord led me on a journey where we eventually, we did stay together and we went through healing and we're, on the other side. And now we like to reach out and help couples that maybe have been through some of the same experiences and encourage them. So for you, as you're a An amazing leader, you lead, prayer networks in Hawaii. And you're all over the world. You're in Asia, you're just everywhere ministering. You're an amazing woman of God. So tell me how you got to that place where you didn't feel like you were condemned for deciding to have a divorce. To get a divorce. Like, how did you go through that process to feel released? Like it was okay.

Theresa: 15:49

That's a great question, Trish. And as I look back, so what happened was after I found out about the fidelity I, it was just pressing into the Lord because I couldn't control my own emotions. And so he really had a heart of reconciliation and he was really repentant of what happened. And at that time he was willing to make whatever it, he was willing to do whatever it could take to, to get to get healed and heal our relationship. So we did go through a healing process and we went through therapy separately as well as together and for nine months we pressed in for that and it was a testing time. I must say, you really have to be very vulnerable and I. I, I became like the worst version of myself during that time. It's just filled with just all these emotions just bubbling up that who are you? I didn't even know who I was at that time. And so we did walk through, healing and also getting wise counsel and et cetera. Got counseling on his own. I got counseling on my own. We got counseling together. And then after nine months, I was still angry. I was so I think I didn't know how to control my emotions. And finally, he said, you know what I'm going to I'm going to let you take a few days off and I'm going to move. I will move out and I will step aside so that you can have some alone time. Because. I just kept on asking the same questions over and over again. The anger, I was just spewing out fire, Trish. When he left the house I just felt an overwhelming peace just fell on me. And I felt a release. And so, that peace was so prevalent in my life. And I asked the Lord for confirmations after that. And then a month later I filed for divorce. Because I knew that the peace of God meant a release for me. And the funniest thing is that day that day when I went to go and file at the courts, I sat next to a lady and after I submitted my papers, the lady looked over to me and she's Hey, what are you here for? And I said I'm here to file for divorce. And then she goes that does happen. And then I looked and then I turned over to her and said, can I pray for you? And she goes, yes. And so I started praying for her. And and then I asked her, what is your name? And she goes, my name is Angel. And I said, oh my God, , your name is Angel. And then she looked at me and she goes, it took you it took you a long time to do this. And then I said yeah, I had to find that peace. And she goes and then she said she just blessed me. She blessed me and she then just gave me peace. And so it was just really beautiful as I look back.

Trisha: 19:00

Thank you for sharing. Yeah that's really just to hear your process through that. I, I know. For you in particular, it wasn't a rash decision. You really took your time to pray into it and to process with the Lord. And I just love hearing different people's stories and their testimonies of how they went through something. Cause I really believe. People's testimony and how they went through something with the Lord gives the other person something to learn from and something to hold on to little nuggets that they can hold on to for their life to learn and move forward So I believe that our testimonies are powerful and they really do help people So thank you so much for sharing.

Theresa: 19:47

Yeah

Trisha: 19:48

I love also what you were saying just about learning your boundaries and who to share with, who not to being self aware enough to know where you're at and what you need to be talking about or not talking about sometimes we can open up a conversation and. No matter what the other person says, like our just hearts are not ready even to receive it. Like our hearts are not ready to be there to even to hear anything about the situation. We just need that more time to be able to mourn or to be able to process the Lord and have all these other filters trying to come in and influence maybe how we think or feel or that sort of thing. So I think it's very wise And yeah, just very wise to understand that about yourself and to understand like your self awareness and your own feelings and thoughts and what it is that you need in each moment. In each moment and what you don't need and the different people that maybe you need in your circle at that time.

Theresa: 20:53

That's super, that's so important for all of us, Trish, you're right. And that's because we need to be self aware of ourselves to also be self aware of what God is doing in our lives. And so I. was really protective of those boundaries. Because one, I wanted to make that decision with the Lord. I didn't want Oh, you should stay, you should go, you should stay, just all these different people telling me or offering their opinions. And so I really wanted to seek the Lord and to find that peace in my heart to make that decision because it was a big one. And and I needed that time to be able to grieve and mourn and, everyone's timeline is different. So whoever is walking through this, everyone's timeline is different. And I want to also say that not all like in, all cases of infidelity end up like mine. And I've known, couples who thrive. Trisha and Thomas are thriving. They worked it out together. I have known people who remarry. I have no, there are it's case by case. So comparison is out the door for this one. And wondrous things and both the betrayed as the betrayer he can do wonderful things that he loves each and every one of us. And so timeline and boundaries, knowing yourself, knowing where God is in your life. Oh, my, it's so important.

Trisha: 22:28

Yeah, that's really good. All right amen. Amen. So good. So good. How can people find out about you or your book? Yeah, sure.

Theresa: 22:40

So seven steps from problem to peace is on Amazon. And so feel free to. I think there's a free download right now for those who are members and for those who can't afford it, go ahead and email, Trisha or LG her ministry and let her know. And I will send you a free copy. Okay. Yeah.

Trisha: 23:01

Thank you so much. Yeah. Okay. So I love what you, the prayer that you did that you just did and you just encourage and bless people. I just want to bless people even more with, there's something that you did in your book and I just loved it. It's called the presence prayer. And so I just want everyone to listen to this. So God, I invite you into my heart. And invite you to this circumstance. I give this problem to you. Lord. Thank you for your presence is with me Thank you for your presence is with me. Will you make yourself come alive to me? Show me where you are in this situation I want to taste See hear Smell and sense you everywhere all the days of my life guide me jesus Take the will. I want you to steer my life. Amen.

Theresa: 23:55

Amen.

Trisha: 23:57

Hallelujah. Thank you Theresa so much and yeah, everyone get her book, support her. She is a world traveler going around all over the world, just helping people and bringing them together. bringing the message of Christ to, to those and just really blessing people. So just really, I want you to bless her. So thank you so much, Theresa.

Theresa: 24:21

Thank you, Trish. What an honor. Thank you everybody. Thank you for listening to Seeds for Your Marriage with hosts, Trisha and Thomas Walker. We pray this episode has given you tips and tools on how to thrive in your marriage. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Trisha and Thomas. We want to hear from you. Be sure to leave a review and let us know how we're doing. It's our desire that this podcast completely benefits you. So also let us know future marriage topics that you would like to hear about.