Brent: 0:00

As long as you have two people who are both willing to say, Lord, what's my part? What in me can I not see that needs healing? Then you can make it through anything. Can we actually make choosing to honor and value each other's worth more important than having to agree on everything? Seeds for your marriage.

Trisha: 0:22

Welcome to Seeds For Your Marriage. I'm Trisha and this is Thomas Walker. We have with us here, Brent and Suzanne Lokker. They're senior pastors of Blazing Fire Church in Dublin, California. And just welcome to the show. We're so excited to have you. Thanks for having us.

Thomas: 0:39

Thank you. So thrilled to have you here today. Why don't we start with family life? Welcome. How long you've been married, how many children, maybe grandchildren, a little bit about your story.

Suzanne: 0:52

Yeah. We have been married 37 years and Brett and I met at UC Davis and started dating there. And in fact, one of the fun things that we love for our relationship is that we've been together 501 months. And we called it our Quinn Mensaversary. And don't know if that's a real word. Maybe it is. I think it is. We looked it up. We looked it up. We tried to figure out what that is. Anyway, it's just a fun thing to keep, just the romance, the fun, remembering us together. As a couple, we start off as a couple. And so family life, we have two amazing sons, two beautiful daughters in love. That bless us no end and we have to Beautiful, gorgeous, lovable granddaughters. And one just turned three. Our oldest just turned three. And the younger one is seven months old. And they live nearby. So we get the privilege of being able to care for them in their younger years right now. And just like I did. My my grandmother took care of me and my brothers when we were younger. And so I get to, I wear that badge of grandma proudly. And and our, both our boys, they do live in the area in near, near enough to drive. So we get to see them. So they are our pride and joy. And

Brent: 2:18

We do, we watch our granddaughters two days a week. And I always tell people we're not retired yet. And I said, we, we don't have the time for this and we do not have the time not to do this. It is so life giving, every week. Anyway so much fun. One more fun thing is she mentioned 500 months together. That's because we were that couple in our dorm where we got together that celebrated every month. Big time, made other people roll their eyes like, oh, they're making me sick and we didn't care because we were so in love. We just, so that's how the month started and we just kept going.

Thomas: 2:52

Wow. And your church here in Dublin, you have a family there as well. We do. A big family. We do. And one of the things Brent, I know you're, both of you are really about is love. Really embracing the father's love and then releasing it. Do you love well

Brent: 3:13

Jesus, the love of the Father has to come first for sure. But let me just start with this and she brought up our church. Yes, it is a family that truly has learned to love each other. I would say we're 24. Three years old as a church and our leadership has been together for most of that time, which really is highly unusual, like a lot of times there's issues that come up and I would say that one of the answers to that is because we choose we choose honor, we choose a relationship over being right. We choose connection over being right because no matter what the issues are, no two people are going to see everything the same way. And this is obviously a podcast about marriage. So we'll talk about that, but it's true in any relationship and in a church, you're not going to see things the same. So can we actually make choosing to honor and value each other's worth more important than having to agree on everything?

Thomas: 4:20

That's really good.

Brent: 4:20

Yeah.

Thomas: 4:21

That's really good. And in practical terms. So when conflict arises, you mentioned choosing the relationship, choosing the connection over being right. How about those times when you absolutely know you're right.

Brent: 4:36

Wait, I'll just say this. We, yeah, I'm going to use some Danny Silk. But we get to be. Meaning we show up in the relationship, just disappear in order to not have conflict. Let's just use something real, which is four years ago when everything was in turmoil with, With COVID, with whether churches were going to meet or not, masks or not, all the and believe me, it, as you both know, it tore apart churches, it tore apart families, literally blood families who couldn't agree. It was during the presidential election. It was all of it.

Thomas: 5:10

Black

Brent: 5:10

Lives Matter. Everything was at the same time, right? And and so our leadership team for sure had different opinions on. Whether we should meet or not, what that should look like, online presence, all of it, and there were, I just have to be honest we all were real with each other. We weren't mad at each other. We were passionate sometimes. And so there were times where there was even tears, but they were healthy tears. I care so much about this, and my heart is so breaking for what's happening, for the disjointedness that keeps happening. Thank you. That I would feel that and I would through tears and yet there were things we chose to do sometimes that weren't my personal preference necessarily. But as a leader, I was listening to everybody listening to the spirit together. That's the biggie. Yeah. And saying, Lord, what do you say? Because we've never navigated this before. But we again chose connection over all of if you don't go my way, then by way. Yeah. Yeah.

Trisha: 6:18

That's really good. The Bay Area is such a huge area, and I know a lot of different people that have been impacted by you all and your church, and you've been around for decades, which is pretty amazing in California, right? To have a church running that long. But just the way that y'all have been able to just touch people's lives, maybe whether they're really a part of the church on a given, every day, every week or not. Just being in the area they've been impacted in some form or shape.

Thomas: 6:51

Yeah.

Trisha: 6:52

Yeah. Thank

Suzanne: 6:52

you. It's, God's been doing something for us, encouraging us. In a sense to keep going because in these last gosh, in this last few months, even we've had several people who have moved away and but we've touched base with them again. And, and they've said just that, what an impact, or the memories, or what they've learned and experienced at Blazing Fire they take with them wherever they are, and that is the huge blessing, is that if what we set out to do was to provide an environment where Holy Spirit, where Father God's presence could be felt, But that's what And then people are transformed from that, then they take that with them, and that is releasing more of his kingdom. It's releasing God's glory through each one, and if that happens, and everybody's across the world, then yay, God! Then he's got more of wherever our feet are, right? We get to claim. And so Each one of us gets to claim that and yes, that's how the world gets transformed. That's where their regions, their families their school, their workplace gets transformed. And and so that is a huge encouragement to us to see where people's lives are now. And yeah it's been a learning curve and I've gotta give a shout out to our leadership team., that's what I see is that everybody's lives, everybody's their gifts and their strengths and how they've learned to learn how to love. From the gift that God's given them. It's what makes up Blazing fire. Our leadership, our people. Blazing fire is its people.

Thomas: 8:54

Yeah.

Suzanne: 8:54

And how we go out. And how we minister, it's how we just live our lives outside of the four walls of the church. Then we get to come together on a Saturday night and and give the testimony of what God has done through us even, yeah, I can't say enough about just how amazing our leadership and when you walk with a family that long, you know Sometimes even they know the more that the depth of who we are Because we get to talk with them on a on that spiritual level if you will the journey that the lord has us on Which we may not get to share In its fullest with even regular your biological family, right?

Thomas: 9:47

Yeah.

Suzanne: 9:48

And so they get to see a fuller picture of who we are and and it's a journey and it's a good journey to be on. And it's a good journey to walk along with friends. So

Thomas: 10:01

you mentioned testimony that I, we believe in testimony so much for a number of reasons. One is it helps people relate. In a way that is wow, if God did that for them Maybe he'll do the same thing for me for people that are walking through similar circumstances But also it gives faith and it gives hope And it gives a belief that God is very much alive and on the throne and I know in Blazing fire you've embraced testimonies in your service. You really want people to share and release what God's doing. How about in your life and is there a testimony that you can share related to your marriage, maybe something that you've walked through where you now have the victory and just share maybe that story and a little bit about something that you've walked through.

Suzanne: 10:55

I think the testimony is an ongoing one. Especially, for us. Yes, we've been married 37 years. And it's like learning together all these years. Finally, maybe putting in to practice what we already knew back in the day. Yes. We want to we want to maintain connection. We want to honor each other. And I know for me, like I noticed that when we have our difficult moments and there are, let's be real, we have our difficult moments, but. I can look back even, from when we first were early married, right? And we had kids and stuff, but now the richness of where we're at. And it's because of those hard times that where I really learned to, that I really want to be my authentic self in the situation. I'm a trusting person and I'm a cheerleader. And I wasn't really a cheerleader, I'm just a cheerleader in the spirit. I was never a cheerleader, but I've known some amazing women who have been. And but, In that I can see that when we've gotten into some difficult moments where, you know, where you think you're like really right, you are right, and and you want to, lean into that person, I can say for myself that I'm catching myself quicker and going, okay, Suzanne, do you really want To respond in kind, or do you want to Be the Suzanne that you know you are and I'm stepping into that more and it's giving me a lot more victory over those times when I can just, just lose it, and and unfortunately this guy, this is our training room. This is this this relationship, this first relationship here is a training ground for For me, at least the way I'm taking it, is for me to really realize my strength in the Lord, and what He's given me, and how He has blessed me, and strengthened me to express who I truly am, that I, and then I realize, no, I really want to be her. I don't want to be mean and vindictive or, selfish, in that moment, granted, it's, it takes time. It's taken time. It's taken years to learn that, but I think I'm getting better at it.

Brent: 13:38

She's Suzanne has been very let's see wonderful in just Taking on like her part, but she mentioned having a trusting heart, which she does. And so there are ways in which, unfortunately, which just weren't true that where I really broke some of that trust along the way.

Thomas: 13:54

Yeah.

Brent: 13:55

And and yeah, we've had really good conversations. Hard things. We have a, an amazing marriage. We I feel like I love Suzanne more than a person could love another person, and yet it hasn't come without some really hard stretches. And I think every couple needs to know that, and some of the for me, like working through addictions and different things that she had to stand with me through that, that were really challenging. You And we did, fortunately, we did get help way back in the day, we went and even saw Danny Silk, we have Danny, for those of you that don't know, is a kind of the relationship pastor at Bethel in Reading for a long time, has written amazing books and called, including Keep Your Love On, which is one of my favorite relationship books. You'll ask that later, but there you go, that was a freebie. And but anyway, we went and visited him and he, counseled us and one of the things that Danny said actually was very relieving to me is he said it doesn't escape anyone. We all have our issues. We all have our hard spots. We have our times when we forget who we are, when we don't know who we are, which often are linked into things of our past that need attention. And so those are the things that, are places I got to go and got inner healing for things and and in the meantime, we're trying to navigate a relationship that got damaged and so that the beauty of it is the covenant that by God's grace and his faithfulness, we've both chosen to keep because it's needed at times when you, when, one or both of you wants to throw in the towel and say, this is just too hard. But I think the miracle of marriage. I think what God is after and why there is such a thing as covenant. Why do we stand at the altar and make promises that really no one can keep the way we're saying them. I'll always, you know what I'm saying? I'll be this for you, I'll never fail. I think the reason for it is because we're in this journey of learning how to love that takes a lifetime. And I think it's very intentional that God has us. Connected through a covenant to somebody who's entirely different than us. Another individual who's very different. I'm sure you guys haven't experienced that at all. But to have to learn what self giving love actually looks like, what does it look like to get past your ego? Self, the side that cares only for yourself and damages the other badly. And I think that's what we've had to learn and choose. I do choose you. I'm so grateful to have a wife that has chosen me multiple times when she could have gone another road.

Suzanne: 16:44

That is time I can remember arguing with the Lord. When he talked about throwing in the towel and but just arguing with the Lord and driving along and I'm so mad, and just so angry with him and and then coming to the realization it's okay, but I do love him, and then just, and Just saying that, and and realizing, no, I do love the man,

Thomas: 17:12

I

Suzanne: 17:13

love this guy, sitting next to me. And and so in that wanting to be it. And it takes courage. I always pray when God's doing a work on people, I'm always praying for courage for people to go there. If the Lord's opening up a place in your heart, in your spirit to go where he can say, Hey, honey I know that's not really you. And would you let me in on that? And then if you have the guts. I just pray courage into people to go there with him because at the end, it does, it brings such a freedom and a victory in your own self going, Hey, that is me. I know that's me, that this is who the Lord is releasing. And yeah, courage and guts to get beyond your own self, and say, no, this is the way I want to do it. And I want to make him stew and I'm going to give him the silent treatment for umpteen years, whatever. And then it's no, honey, do you really want to do that? No. And then realizing later, it becomes easier. To really be myself, and I, to let go of all that and realize I just want to be myself. I don't want to do this, and yeah, I'm hurt. And to realize, yeah, I'm hurt. But there is the trust in the Lord that he's, Papa's got Brent in his grip too. And that Brent's heart is to want to go there. Also, that he has the guts that when the Lord's opening up things in his life, in his spirit, to deal with, to work with, that's not allowing him to be the best version of himself, his truest identity, his most authentic identity that Papa knows he is, and that Brent's also willing to go there. And so that helps that trusting of papa that was gonna do that for both of us because he loves us that much. He cares about us that much, and that together we have something to share, right now with our family, to see that, to see how we work through things and that, how that becomes a blessing. to our children.

Trisha: 19:41

Absolutely. Yeah. I'm glad you brought that up because you talked about it being a training ground, like your relationship, your marriage is a training ground. And when we go through these valleys, when we go through these mountain tops with our spouse through the years, we, there's something there's there's, Things that we pick up along the way, there's strength there's we're strengthened and we actually get to give that away and our children learn that it's like, it becomes just an, I believe a generational inheritance that we can pass on to our children by just being willing to work it out to stick in it, to stick in there with them, to not throw in the towel.

Thomas: 20:24

Yeah. I'm hearing also we, we say a lot about I'm responsible for me and you're responsible for you. And it's not my job to manage you. And it's not her job to manage me. And when we both pursue, like you talked about being the best version of yourself and Brent leaning in to be the best version of yourself, because you've got Holy Spirit, like interwoven in both of your lives and into your marriage, it's just a beautiful. Beautiful tapestry that gets created. I want to come back to the Feeling sometimes like you I know you don't feel that way anymore But maybe in the past like I want to throw in the towel I'm sure there's someone listening right now and you've probably walked through this with couples in your church where Brent, I don't know. I think i'm I think we're at the end Just maybe share what words would you have for someone who may be in that situation right now and they're listening to this podcast?

Brent: 21:26

I think I would start by, by sharing this, that I feel like Suzanne and I are in the sweetest place we have ever been in our marriage as far most tender most enjoying the moments as they're happening. Not. Getting keyed up over things that really don't matter, but it's taken such a, it's taken a lifetime, sicken 40 years. 501 months to get there. That's, I want to start with that to say, that's the reason why you don't give up. There's it's that whole thing. If you don't give up, you're going to reap a harvest. But man, I, yeah, I would want to say to people going through that as long as there are two people in this relationship, Yeah. Who are willing to let Jesus still have a say in this . Yeah. As long as you're willing to still open up your own heart. You said I can't do that for Suzanne. She can't do it for me. But as, as long as you have two people who are both willing to say, Lord, what's my part? What in me can I not see that needs healing? Then you can make it through anything. That's a true statement. Jesus will bring you through anything as long as that's the stance. And I would also say that I love that you two are out there ready to help couples as are we. Sometimes people need a helping hand to do

Thomas: 22:50

that.

Brent: 22:52

One of the things I also just add one more, see if you have something, honey, is I sometimes tell couples when they're, cause I've dealt with a couple of couples in the last half a year that are in that crisis place that we're not sure if this is going to make it And we talk about trust, of course, which is a huge issue and I remind them that in the end I'm not even sure if you'll agree with what I'm going to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, in the end I can't I'm going to say it this way. I'll make it personal. I can't do enough to make Suzanne trust me a lot of times. We think if I just show enough, there are things that I need to do. There's no question. If I'm untrustworthy for long enough, then. Okay. Party's going to be over at some point, but I'm saying in the end. It's got to be a gift That she gives me or I give her. It's a gift in the end. Otherwise, the person who's holding back and saying I don't trust you. Now they own, they have all the cards. That's actually not an intimate, authentic relationship. That's again, somebody's over somebody. And I'm sharing that because what I tell these couples that are feeling like I'm done and they say, I can't trust him. I say, I understand. I understand that. In this moment, I'm done. Is it enough? Can you trust Jesus in them? Can you do that for now? So this is a step and a lot of times I can do that and say, okay, Jesus, I'm going to trust what you're doing in that person's in this, in my wife and my husband, until you can get me to a place to where I can see that this is a gift. I can give them.

Trisha: 24:26

Yeah. Both people. Evolving in their own relationship with Christ and we're not perfect people and the Bible does say that the husband is the head. And so if you really think about just the spiritual attacks that might try to come. To a marriage, a lot of times it can come where the enemy's trying to attack the husband because he's the head. So I like what you talked about, Suzanne, is being able to talking to God first. And in just expressing your authentic self of your anger, like processing what was going on inside of you with him first and not running to your golf runner, not running over all over places around, trying to get advice or counsel, but really going to God first. Yeah,

Thomas: 25:19

mom is always gonna take your side.

Trisha: 25:22

Yeah. And being able to see being able to see your husband for who God sees him because sometimes we look at our spouse in through our own natural lens and we don't see them the way God is seeing them. So if we can go to him and start changing our heart, like you're talking about, if we can change our heart, we can get that forgiveness, release that forgiveness to them, then we can start giving that gift of trust that you're talking about.

Brent: 25:49

Yeah. And add something else too, I think over the years, and I think all couples come to places where there are certain things that's so important. Frustrated us about the other person, that thing or whatever. I like, why do you look at it that way or do things that way? And this is what I was talking about God having us marry someone who's entirely different than us. And I think what happens and what has happened more and more. As I look at this amazing woman of God, is that some of the things that used to frustrate me, me now fascinate me about her. I see the intricacies, the way she's created and the way she has made me so much better because of different ways she looks at life or different things that are important to her. I just think we both have Rounding each other out in a way we could have never rounded ourselves out, if you will. And I think that's part of the plan, the marriage plan, the brilliant plan God had in mind, that sometimes makes no sense at all when you're in the midst of the, your aggravation. I 100 percent agree.

Suzanne: 26:53

And I can see in him, granted he's, he's up there ministering, but I can see in him, the integrous man that he is. And that, that I know he is. And and I can cheerlead that, and just and appreciate the gifts that God has given him. And and know in, in knowing, some of the things that we've worked through together, all the behind the scenes, yeah we're we're a pastor couple, it's sometimes a little bit different, when. I don't think, I don't feel like we live in a fishbowl, are who we are. And but to be able to see my husband. Not the pastor, but my husband, And say, wow, he is pretty amazing how he can draw out the the themes and concepts of grace and love of a father and help us all grow, it just, It makes me appreciate him so much, how he can do that. And so yeah, we, it's just life. We're learning, yeah, after, all these years it's life, but it's choosing to want to go there with the Lord. We have learned from so many amazing people who have walked through. In these last few decades, Not just to help our spiritual walk, but just us. And one of the persons is Graham Cook, who he's like, come on, you guys, you are better than that. Let's get your face to where you're better. backside. He has this quote that's wait, what? And he's no, because you're already there. You are already this amazing person. Let's catch you up to who you really are. And so when you've got, so it's like being able to put into practice these amazing teachings, these amazing thoughts, And then put it into practice first in our marriage and then with our peeps that we walk along with, in our families, it's it's very life giving. And it's yeah, God, you just can't stop thanking him. Yeah. For what he's doing in each individual life. And One of the things is that I would say to couples or who were really frazzled at this point It's like if both of you are willing to go to the hard places and really trust the Lord in this then It's a good journey to be on at least you have somebody to walk with Somebody flesh and blood right walk with right now and You know, and praying that you're working together towards the same goal because us together is us together as a team is better than us as a part, so

Thomas: 29:55

yeah,

Suzanne: 29:56

that makes sense.

Thomas: 29:58

One of the words you've used a lot. Both of you choice. We talk a lot about choice as well because it really, from our perspective, when you make that choice or make the decision that we will be together versus having the question in your mind, I wonder if this is going to work. Is this the right person for me? There's so many doors that are open. And so by making that choice to say, we are together forever, that's the vow we made. It closes so many of the doors and now you're down a path. And now we get to choose what kind of relationship or what kind of marriage we're going to have. So it's like life is a series of choices.

Suzanne: 30:43

Yeah, it is. And I know that like when I've been in those moments, I realize, I'm saying to, to Papa yeah, I really don't mean it. I don't want to throw in the towel, but it feels like I want to, and then knowing that deep down in my heart, no, that is not what I want for us, as much as I, as angry as I can be, that's not really deep down what I want. So there is that element of, yes, we're choosing to stay in it.

Thomas: 31:14

Yeah. So choice you've talked about honor. honoring one another. You've talked about trusting one another. Communication, I would imagine, has to be an area where you've invested. to make sure that your relationship is thriving, that you understand one another, listen to one another. Are there other core values that you would maybe call out in your relationship with each other that come to mind?

Brent: 31:42

A very good question. Fun.

Suzanne: 31:48

Laugh with each other.

Thomas: 31:50

Enjoy,

Suzanne: 31:50

Realize what you enjoy doing together and and sometimes making, for example I'm a sci-fi buff and and Brent's tonight so much Star

Thomas: 32:01

Trek, honey Sci

Suzanne: 32:02

Trek, Marvel, whatever. Get her going. Universe, you

Brent: 32:07

wanna No do get her going. Trek,

Suzanne: 32:09

star Wars, whatever universe you wanna talk about. Yeah, let's go there, and but Brett not so much, but for one for one, one birthday, he took me to the, it's called Silicon. It's the Silicon Valley version of Comic Con. So granted it was during COVID, but he dressed up with me and we walked through Comic Con. That's not his, that's not his.

Brent: 32:35

That's his shirt and

Suzanne: 32:36

No, it was, you had yeah. So you had a yellow, you weren't white, I had a red.

Thomas: 32:43

So yellow is Spock?

Suzanne: 32:45

No,

Thomas: 32:46

Kurt. Kurt, okay. Yellow is Kurt. Okay. And red?

Suzanne: 32:49

And red is, she was the communications officer. Okay. Yeah, but still.

Brent: 32:55

For all you turkey fans out there.

Suzanne: 32:58

But honestly, I wanted to wear the gold one. But they only made Captain Kirk. Whatever.

Brent: 33:04

But

Suzanne: 33:05

the

Brent: 33:05

point being. The point

Suzanne: 33:06

being, is that we had fun. We had fun.

Brent: 33:08

And we share who, is interested.

Suzanne: 33:09

Yeah. I

Brent: 33:10

can go there with you for sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

Suzanne: 33:14

And then, and so I will. I'll sit through some fantasy football shows, actually, and then, and like them and then actually listen and pay attention. She should

Thomas: 33:25

just watch UFC last night. Both for you.

Trisha: 33:33

Yeah, I was half watching. I was half watching. But, I was there. You were

Suzanne: 33:39

there. But we also and yet we stay individual in some things. He's a Dallas Cowboy fan, and I'm a San Francisco 49er fan. It

Brent: 33:49

works

Suzanne: 33:49

and it works., I feel we can still watch a tv. We've even been

Brent: 33:53

at live Cowboy dinner games and

Suzanne: 33:56

stayed married and

Brent: 33:58

not even mad

Thomas: 33:58

at each other on the way home. so there's, there is a really important seed I want to extract there, which is like. You know what Suzanne likes or what she wants and vice versa. And you both champion each other's wants and you participate in sharing those moments together. I do think that's an essential ingredient. And a secret sauce, which is wow. Like we're both in the boat and we're on the same direction.

Brent: 34:26

And I think the element of fun is because marriage is hard enough, like you better be having some fun with each other. You know what I mean? Let's, we're supposed to be enjoying life.

Thomas: 34:35

Yeah.

Brent: 34:35

That is actually one of the things that God gave us life for, was to actually enjoy it. And so I think sometimes when it just becomes all the time hard, sometimes I'm with couples that, one of them, they're having a hard time and one of them just wants to work on relationship stuff. All the time. That's the only way in which our marriage is good, is if we're reading through a book together. And I'm like, I'm all for that stuff, and you should do that stuff. And, have fun. Yeah. And look for ways to just be silly. And we laugh a lot. I'm a, everything's a song to me. Everything.

Thomas: 35:10

70s,

Brent: 35:10

80s, all of it. And now she's doing it, so anything that happens just about I'll break into some verse of something that has to do with it and we will laugh and she now she does it back to me after all these years and

Suzanne: 35:23

then we like if there are movies we've watched. We'll pull out a quote from that movie, that pertains to the situation. And just have a laugh over that,

Brent: 35:33

and it lightens things sometimes. I'm not saying it's, you're always trying to deflect and lighten everything. I don't, I'm not saying that. Believe me, we have very serious conversations. Yeah. And we know when those are the moments and we're wanting to be super real. Yeah. But I'm just saying also lots of

Thomas: 35:48

fun. Yeah, no, I think that's right. Sometimes we believe that you can disagree, but you don't have to disconnect. And so sometimes we might have major things that we're working through, but we're able to put it on the shelf and say, okay, there is a thing and we're going to deal with that thing. And God's going to help us go through that thing. But right now, it's not about that thing. It's about us and just enjoying each other and being able to get to that place where you can. Have those moments. It actually gives strength to make it through the tough times because you have You, you just have that connection that you've been nurturing. So I think it's, I think it's, I

Brent: 36:27

100 percent agree. Yeah.

Thomas: 36:28

Do you want to release anything?

Suzanne: 36:30

I just want, I do want to release one of my favorite it's a song that really impacted me. And it's just for hope for, as we go along this journey of really understanding who we are and. liking that person, and walking in that.

And it's Psalm 8: 36:45

8 from the Passion Translation. And it says, You keep every promise you ever made to me. So good. Since your love for me is constant and endless, I ask you, Lord, to finish every good thing. That you've begun in me and so that's the hope that I want to just share with people that there are good things that the Lord is doing in their lives. They are a good thing. They are a part of God's heart and he is going to finish. He is going to craft beautifully. He is going to call out even better than any friend or, message. He's going to call out that beauty. And so I just want to release that hope that he's doing that for you. And he's doing that for your spouse. He's doing that for your kids. He's doing that for anybody that you'll come in contact with.

Brent: 37:54

So good. This is what I want to do is I want to just release to those a blessing of the father. I just said a moment ago, he is not disappointed with you in any way. And I release a blessing. He says to you, you are the son or the daughter that I always wanted. I created you exactly the way I wanted to. You are perfect for me. You're not deficient. You, there's not something wrong with you. You are my beloved child and nothing is gonna change my heart for you. And so I bless you. He says, I bless you with my full inheritance, which is really my own presence. There's nothing you need to do to re to receive that other than just to open your heart up and and just know. But I will always be your father and that you will always belong to me. So I just bless you in this journey. It's such a good one.

Trisha: 38:53

So good. Thank you so much. Then it was awesome.

Brent: 38:56

Wow.

Trisha: 38:56

So how can people learn about your church, about you? Find you online.

Brent: 39:01

Blazingfire. org.

Suzanne: 39:04

And we do have a Facebook Blazing fire and then a YouTube. is Blazing Fire Worship Services. Yeah, and we meet physically in Dublin, California at 7485 Village Parkway in Dublin on Saturday nights at six o'clock.

Brent: 39:25

Yeah, Saturday nights and we're, we have we go live. So it's on Facebook and YouTube. And again, my YouTube channel is vibrant life. In fact, there's posted on, if you go to the videos part I post the father's blessing. So it's a five minute blessing that would be similar, but much more expanded to what I just prayed a moment ago. So yeah, that's another place people can go.

Thomas: 39:49

Thank you so much for taking the time. This is lovely. You're the love that you have is It's amazing. And it's rooted in Christ's love for us and it's rooted in God's love towards his children. And you are who you are. Like I can, we've been with you now for a few years and I can tell you everything you've just talked about is everything that we experience. And whenever who we say we are and who we actually are is congruent. I think we can all agree that's a beautiful thing, especially when it's grounded in our identity in Christ. The last thing I'll say is, if you're a gentleman and you ever want to have a golf buddy Brent is your man because you're gentle and in the midst of hitting bad shots, you always have a comforter.

Brent: 40:41

No, he comforted me in my time of need. Stress when I have bad shots, I don't lose it in trust because life's so much better than that. So it's like a

Thomas: 40:53

win. Thank you for listening to Seeds for Your Marriage with hosts, Trisha and Thomas Walker. We pray this episode has given you tips and tools on how to thrive in your marriage. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Trisha and Thomas. We want to hear from you. Be sure to leave a review and let us know how we're doing. It's our desire that this podcast completely benefits you. So also let us know future marriage topics that you would like to hear about.